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tom

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[01 Feb 2005|01:22pm]
can i be sherri dupree yet

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b_nielsen [05 Sep 2004|05:18pm]
[ mood | devious ]

so today i trudged through 20 feet of imaginary snow in only my boxers to best buy to pick up the new senses fail cd that hasn't come out yet. after i'd purchased it i skipped to the crosswalk and anxiously awaited the change of the signals! adjusting myself before walking across i tossed the tiny bag over my shoulder since it had become that damn heavy. when i finally reached my house i carefully placed it upon my formica dinette and opened it with fervor. i am almost positive i shall die if i scratch such a masterpiece!! anyway after i'd opened it and shoved it into my slot, i must say that this is a sure buy for anyone who wants to have a glamorous time crooning along with the silky vocals of a mister buddy nielsen. trust me his face may be a little hard to handle but his vocals -- a masterpiece! the neighbors began to complain because of the noise (buddy's screaming, my moaning) so i took out my super awesome, super retro white headphones and placed them on my ears before laying down on my white shag rug!! what a glorious sight it was, the sun bathing itself on me through my window while i lay there in my greasy wife(wnoon)beater, boxer shorts, and black socks with my hair strewn all over! i caressed myself a few times with the cd case but what can i say, i'm such a sucker for a man with a lip ring. it was a lovely afternoon if i do say so myself!


ps i can't breathe

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[01 Sep 2004|01:12am]
oh fuck you lj i had a whole entry typed out

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can i make a post in welcome_wagon asking where paris is [19 Mar 2004|08:32pm]
this is a totally heartfelt entryCollapse )

so what up elisha!

i am throwing myself off of the montauk lighthouse even though i think long island is overrated, bye

i hate myself i can't spell sorry i had to edit it again it only gets better

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[16 Mar 2004|09:34pm]
geoff why are you naked in all of your pictures http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&safe=off&q=kim+basinger&sa=N&tab=wi

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my life is horrible this stuff made me laugh [15 Mar 2004|09:39pm]
hayyCollapse )

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why am i listening to the gumby theme song [14 Mar 2004|03:45pm]
[ mood | scrubish ]

i guess i am a few days too late and a few dollars too short but that is life. after hiding under my bed for a few good days and crying over a plate of rice cakes and the ya-ya sisterhood i mean reading superman comic books and stuffing my face with crunchy cheetos i came to the conclusion that i am taking pat stump to curves with me. geoff you can come too i heard they do wonders for teeth or maybe that is the oral surgeon i am thinking about. kenny you should learn to stay away from matt i heard he is homicidal maybe

where is paris hilton she and i have a sex tape to distribute

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x
/('.*tO0o0oMmMm*.')\
~~~LiFe iZ sH0Rt LiVe LaRgG^^
134 rEpRaZeNtzZ

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[12 Mar 2004|04:17pm]
[ mood | content ]

i want to write emails to someone, insert wink come on you know you want a tom martin origional email i wish i had my own livejournal mail i am killing myself

ps someone make my journal look like this missbynes44

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[10 Mar 2004|06:19pm]
hey garrett can i rape you while jesse plays sic transit gloria, let's tape it ok big buddy

anyway today was another day in the life of tom martin aka myself. i sat around on my fat ass and watched tv while eating pringles. my mother soon joined me for a vigorous round of pop-o-matic trouble, which i lost. but christina aguilera taught me that can't nothing hold me down, so i am sitting here writing this useless update!

someone do something with me so i can write big updates like my brohams do

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[08 Mar 2004|01:02pm]
my job in life is to interrupt everyone's comments and make will noon kill himself, i am having a total blast.

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[06 Mar 2004|09:50pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

so hey what's up i play bingo with will noon for a living. jay kay guys, i only do that part time.
most of my time goes into my horrible life as a roadie/recording superstar better than michael jackson pop idol lifestyle. that made no sense but what do i care. i write songs like "stalking in the nude" which is, of course, about will noon. j/k again!!!!!!! i am rolling with the punchlines. recently i recorded with john nolan and that porpoise eddy what's his name from teaching becky saturday. <- another joke okay don't eat me ed.
i don't know what else to talk about sorry bye.

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